do’s and don’ts of supporting autistic people in april and forever
note: we are all individuals and so this many not be perfect for every person, but it’s garnered from my own experiences as an autistic person, autistic tumblr, and articles written by autistic self-advocates
do:
-make yourself clear on things. if you want us to do something, be specific. for example, when my mum wants help clearing the table, it’s better if she says “can you put that on the counter” rather than “can you move that”.
-understand that we can’t always pick up on social cues. if you’ve been dropping a hint and we don’t seem to be getting it, don’t get angry, just tell us outright. it’s easier for everyone that way.
-be accepting of stims. stimming is both something autistic people do to calm down, and something we do when we’re happy. stimming is good and normal, and you should support us and our stims.
-feel free to use autistic-specific items like weighted blankets and fidget spinners. popularizing these items makes them more accessible for us, but be careful not to abuse them like what happened with the spinners. that hurts our community.
-listen to autistic people on their individual needs and experiences. autism is a wide range of presentation and symptoms, and every one of us has something unique to contribute.
-say “autistic people”, rather than “people with autism”, unless someone asks you to refer to them as the latter. most of us view autism as part of our identity, and not something that can be tacked on later.
don’t:
-support autism speaks. they are an ableist group of allistics who actively hate autism and autistic people.
-use the terms “severely” or “slightly” autistic. autism is not a spectrum of severity, it’s a spectrum of symptoms and presentations.
-get angry with us for missing social cues. we can’t help it and we’re trying our best.
-use the word r/t/rd. it’s an ableist slur. similarly, don’t use sayings like “that’s so autistic” or “autistic screeching”.
-make fun of autistic people who have “childish” traits like a love of stuffed animals or a hyperfixation on a kids’ show. our minds work differently and it’s not fun to be bullied for that.
-tell us to shut up about hyperfixations. if you’re not in the mood to talk, just ask if we can talk about the subject later, but don’t just blatantly shut us down. it hurts. our hyperfixations are emotionally important to us and talking about them is euphoric.
-demonize lack of empathy. autistic people often have a different level of empathy than allistics, and may feel stronger empathy towards animals or inanimate objects than towards people. that doesn’t make us bad or evil. demonizing a lack of empathy doesn’t help anyone. also, don’t mock hyperempathy.
-compare us to animals. this should be obvious.
again, some individuals may differ from what’s said here, and that’s ok! we’re all walking different paths and we all have different needs. this is just one girl’s take on autism and allyship based on what i’ve read!
allistics can and should reblog but keep your mouths shut, autistic people can add on!
